Fear and Loathing in Gotham
I wonder if the Algonquin Indians, who inhabited what is now known as Manhattan Island, ever thought that their small parcel of land would eventually become the home one of the world’s largest cities. I bet not. Rather, they probably thought that giving up the island for about $430 (2005 dollars) was a good deal. According to one source the median price of an apartment in Manhattan is more than $650,000. Such has been the negotiation success of native peoples in America.
When God was younger and experiencing the pangs of boredom that come along with being omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, he decided to study human psychology. He put a bunch of humans down in a maze and watched it for a while. But then he got bored and forgot about it, perhaps he slid it under his bed or on top of all the board games in his closet. Either way, when he eventually picked it up again, he found that the humans had put some lights on and called it New York City.
New York seems to make you hard. I was only there two days, and I became rather indifferent to the people walking by. I looked at the homeless man who had defecated on himself, pretending to jump rope (that was only two feet long), and mumbling as a curiosity, not with empathy. Why? Because New York is a city where if you start caring about what you see, you won’t find any respite. It is a city privileged and infected with the best and worst of what America has to offer, and I think you could walk past 1,000 examples on any given block.
Little Italy/Chinatown: Since these two ethnic enclaves are located so close to each other, I figured I’d write about in the same blurb. Don’t go there. I’m kidding. I guess I expected more authentic stuff, and judging from the fish markets we passed by on a side-street, authentic does exist there. But the main portion of Chinatown geared toward tourists who want cheap crap. Little Italy was mainly composed of restaurants.
Museum of Modern Art: Six floors of objects whose artistic value is questionable. But it was worth the price of admission—free after 4pm on Fridays.
Harlem: So two white guys are walking down the street in Harlem. Which one gets accused of being fascinated with African American genitalia first? That’s right, your humble blogger here. As we passed by what seemed to be an amateurish lecture given by an obviously disgruntled black man—the topic of which appeared to be the history of black mutilation at the hands of whites—I was accused of, like my white ancestors, of having a fascination with “the black man’s penis.”
The Bronx: Like Harlem except it seemed to have more people; required you to walk up and down hills; and was more congested. It truly was like I was in a different world. So much activity between the cars on the streets and the people on the sidewalk—much more heightened than on the island for some reason.
Grimaldi’s: A pizzeria located under the Brooklyn bridge. It’s obviously an Italian place, but, interestingly enough, they don’t take credit cards or checks. It’s an all cash business. I’ve heard of these businesses—sham operations to launder money. But the food is good. Do I really care that 10% of my $20 pie went to whack some Soprano?
I’ll try to post more later…
// posted by Michael Ward @
7:29 PM
